Who's Fault is it Anyway?

Recently, I was listening to a radio broadcast on a topic that kinda hit home for me: It's Not Your Fault. The speaker talked about children, parents, spouses, and others to whom we relate. He was said we need to stop blaming ourselves for what we think are short-comings in ourselves and others. Often times, we carry a heavy burden of how something WE did contributed to the downfall of relationships and/or what WE could have done differently in others' lives to prevent or create certain outcomes.

SEPARATION/DIVORCE

I've been down this road and it's VERY easy to play the "blame game." "He wasn't there for me, when I needed him most," or "She was always nagging me." Yes, we all want the "happily-ever-after" and that's what we should strive for when we take our vows. Let's face it, though: Some relationships run their course. Please don't misunderstand. Relationships that do not last forever are, more than likely, relationships that should not have begun. Something to note: YOU CANNOT CHANGE A PERSON. There are quite a few things we should know about our "lifelong" partner WELL before we commit. If we don't know these truths, we set ourselves up for failure.

• Religious (or non-religious) beliefs

• Children

• Yes/No

• Parenting thoughts

• Education

• Discipline

• Money

• Credit

• Management

• Financial Stability

• Career Goals

• Income Potential

• Friends

• Behaviors

• Parents/Exes

• Respectful

• Treatment thereof

CHILDREN

As long as we have done EVERYTHING in our capacity for our children, our job is done. We cannot find fault with ourselves as parents if our children skip school, become addicted to drugs/alcohol, or commit a crime. We should try to help them, if we can. However, they cannot receive help until THEY understand their problem and are WILLING to accept help.

PARENTS

Naturally, our parents want to advise of the course THEY would like us to follow in our lives: go to college, get an advanced degree, get a 6-figure job, get married, buy a house, and (of course) give them wonderful grandchildren! This doesn't work for everyone. What if you don't have money to go to school or buy a house? Does it make one less of a person if he/she doesn't marry or have children? No one should be made to feel bad if you are not able to fulfill the wishes of their parents. While the story of Naomi and Ruth ended well, it could have gone much differently. Live YOUR life! Be proud and thankful for your gifts!

Fault is defined as a defect or imperfection; responsibility for failure or wrongful act; misdeed or transgression; an error or mistake. Again, we cannot beat ourselves down when we've done everything within our realm to attain successful outcomes. When we find things have not gone as we wanted or planned, they should be taken as life lessons. These teachable moments are for us to learn and share with others. Use them going forward to achieve excellence in your life!

#fault #children #parents #friends #blame #naomiandruth